Mad Man Dan

From Rounders:

- May I tell you a story? - Please.

For generations, men of my family have been rabbis. In Israel, before that in Europe. It was to be my calling. I was quite a prodigy. The pride of my yeshiva. The elders said I had a 40 year-old’s understanding of the midrash by the time I was 12. But by the time I was I knew I could never be a rabbi.

Why not?

Because for all I understood of the Talmud,

I never saw God there.

When you write greeting cards, do not capitalize the “happy hoildays” phrase because it refers to a generic time period rather than the more specific “Merry Christmas”. People will argue with you and you will see it incorrectly on thousands of Christmas cards, but they are wrong.

Before I get a bunch of wise-ass emails, please note that I’ve capitalized the phrase in the title above because it’s a title.

Examples

Best wishes and happy holidays to you and your family.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and happy holidays to all of our colleagues.

Happy holidays, and to all a good night.

Did you post on craigslist looking for a quality web designer? Were you overrun with calls from developers speaking poor English, working out of basements, or with zero experience? Do you want to know why the quality designers avoided your post?

I’m a quality web designer and I offer a great service at an affordable price. When I scan posts on craigslist looking for leads, here are some things I avoid:

– “My budget is very small, but if you do good work there will be more work to come.” I think people have good intentions when they write this, but more often that not it’s not true.

– “Here is a five page summary of my project…” Once we’ve established that you have a project, there’s no substitute for a phone call or an in person meeting. Not only can I offer fresh perspective on how to achieve your goals, but I can get a better idea of what you really need.

– “I need top-quality work, cutting edge programming, and specialty graphics, but I don’t have much money.” Like any other business, these things cost money. If you don’t have the budget, you should be asking for alternative suggestions from your designer.

– “Most of you web designers are a joke, and I could do your job myself.” This is pretty self-explanatory. Why would I want to work for this person, and why are they posting in the first place?

– “This would be a great job for someone looking to build their portfolio!” Your web site is one of the few outlets you will use to present your company to the public and you get what you pay for. I don’t advise you cut corners on business cards, television commercials, or your web site. Just my opinion.

What should I do if I’m threatened with legal action?

I run a lot of web sites and publish personal opinions and findings on many of them to generate content for the users. I use the traffic these sites generate as a platform for advertising and online product sales. The problem? From time to time I have published negative comments about other companies and individuals. While these statements are always my personal opinion and therefore not libelous, I’ve been threatened with legal action on more than one occasion.

Fortunately, this is a pretty rare occurrence and my usual method in dealing with it is to avoid the hassle of litigation by altering blog posts or printing retractions. But this is really starting to bug me. How many other people are getting pushed around by lawyers simply because it’s easier and cheaper to comply than to fight?

Here’s what I think I’m going to start doing. I’m a pretty upstanding person and am comfortable admitting my mistakes and apologizing for them. If I get a polite email from someone with an honest complaint, I’m going to recognize their problem and try to help them.

If I get a blanket threat of legal action where I don’t think I’m in the wrong I’m going to do nothing. I’m not going to print retractions, and I’m not going to apologize. As soon as I get a threat for legal action, I will cease communication with the individual and do nothing to satisfy their requests. I’m not going to respond to emails (they always come via email) in a positive or negative way. I’m going to sit in my office and wait for a summons. When that comes, I’ll deal with the issue either by defending myself or getting a lawyer to help me. A counter suit might be a good idea as well.

Who’s with me?

I set this blog up for a friend of mine not too long ago, but he’s not really doing much with it. Since I’m in need of a spot other than my company blog to vent personal opinions, I’m going to do it here.

Brace yourself.

Dear Coca Cola,

Please start using more glue in your fridgepack packaging. It’s not a convenience if the front rips open and the cans roll out one by one when I go to open the package.

That is all.

Prof. John Ruskin (1819 - 1900):

“There is hardly anything in the world that someone cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price alone are that person’s lawful prey. It is unwise to pay too much, but it is also unwise to pay too little. When you pay too much, you lose a little money, that is all. When you pay too little, you sometimes lose everything because the thing you bought is incapable of doing the thing you bought it to do. The common law of business balance prohibits paying a little and getting a lot… It can’t be done. If you deal with the lowest bidder it is well to add something for the risk you run. And if you do that you will have enough to pay for something better.”

Category: TV
Name: Kolchak the Night Stalker
Rating: 3 stars
Synopsis: Investigative reporter Carl Kolchak delves into paranormal happenings for his Chicago based news service.

Review: The only shortcoming this show has is that it was done in the 70s. If it had been done using the special effects available for the X Files or Buffy it would earn 5 stars easily. The stories are creative and interesting but still based (usually) in real folklore and myth or in a few cases standard sci fi themes. The mystery element of the show is well done. Even in the few cases where the viewer knows who is committing the murders (or other crimes) quickly they are still left guessing as to what is going to happen in the end. The main character, Carl Kolchak, is great. Even though he is a pushy jerk you end up liking him anyway. The news agency he works for and the authorities want nothing to do with his findings of supernatural wrongdoing however so his reports are usually suppressed. The dynamic between Kolchak and his boss Tony Vincenzo who just wants to run a normal news service is superb as is Kolchak’s interaction with a new police captain almost every episode. All in all, if you can get past the antiquated and low budget special effects (and you classic Dr. Who fans know what I’m talking about) this is a good series.

Category: Games
Name: Magic: the Gathering
Rating: 3 stars
Synopsis: Magic the Gathering is a collectible, tradable card game in which each player is a wizard vying for control of all the land using a variety of spells drawn from the deck the player constructed. There are 5 colors of magic that each has its own theme. For example, red magic involves fire and earth, green involves nature and growing things, etc. Preconstructed decks can be purchased and played straight out of the box or players can construct decks from scratch with packs containing random cards. If you want more detail I suggest you go to Wikipedia.

Review: Magic the Gathering is a fun game. However, it is a very complicated game and can get more so the more you play. Unless you just play a preconstructed deck right out of the box all the time and can resist the urge to tweak it, the game can easily consume your every waking hour as well as your paychecks. Constantly seeking new permutations for your deck, setting up the perfect sideboard, adjusting it every 6 months to account for new released sets and the fact that the old ones can’t be used in tournament play. . .the list goes on and on for how you can spend your time on Magic. It is a very efficient way to separate a geek and their money. I started playing Magic when Antiquities came out and have been playing off and on since then. In order to keep bringing out new stuff and making money, Wizards of the Coast has to constantly create new special abilities and powers for the cards. It just got too tough to keep track of all the special abilities and what they do as well as all of the DCI rulings on errata and such. I can’t seem to find people locally that like to play larger multiplayer formats for 3 or more players; everyone wants to play tournament 1 on 1 rules. I think they are missing out on some wondrous opportunities. There are also plenty of people that take this game WAY too seriously which can take all the fun out of it for the beginner. When the most common (standard) tournament rules banned all the cards I had spent hundreds of dollars on expecting to be able to use them for years to come I became very disenchanted with the game. Now I can only use them if I can find a Vintage or Legacy tournament group and I don’t want to mess with tournaments anyway.